All these days, I was been thinking that I would never fall in love. All these years I was surrounded by thousands and thousands of Iron walls which I had built in my deep heart. But this love which came as a gentle breeze broken all those walls in a flash But how did it come? When did it come? Did it come when I forgotten myself? When I was not giving importance to this feeling all these years, how suddenly did I become a slave to it?
Love, Love, Love. Wow, why this word suddenly sounds so sweet to me? Why my lips are smiling even without my notice? Why I suddenly feel as if I’m flying? Even Bitter gourd soup that mom made today taste sweet now. Oh is this what love is? What is this sudden change in me? I just feel as if I’m drugged.
First time in my life I have sensed this new feeling in me. How did I live all these years without knowing about it? If I had known that this feeling would give me such an immense happiness, I would have definitely said Yes to Shyam when he proposed me that day.
Shyam, Shyam, Shyam, aha... How many time would I uttered this name today? Shyam… this is going to be my mantra now. Did I have ever realized that this mantra would have such an impact on me? Did I ever believe that this word would kindle deep passions inside me?
I am in love now. How much pleasure it gives me in accepting this fact today. Even without sleeping for a second yesterday night, how do I feel so much energized today? Is this the power of love?
Shyam, today I’m gonna meet you and accept my love for you. Yes now, I just can’t control my feeling for you. How much gifted you are that I am in love with you? The credit goes to you since it is you who have broken those castles. How much you would have tried just for a glimpse of my one eye view on you?
What can I do? It’s the way I was brought up! Till yesterday I never tried to find the inner meanings for this word called ‘love’. That’s why I never had a doubt that you are in love with me. Me, My studies, My home, this is what my priorities were. But now you have turned my priority on you. Are you that dream lover that all girls crave for?
In fact you confessed your love only on the last day of our college life. Why did you love me for two long years but confessed only on the last day. Are you a big fan of actor “Murali’, who never confess his love to the heroine except in climax in all his films? Stupid, not you but me, who couldn’t understand your love for me that day, and sent you back rejecting y(our ) precious proposal.
How much you would have broken inside? How many times did you cry thinking of me? Today is the day to clean all my sins. Today I am coming to you to make you feel heaven dear.
You might think how did the love come today which wasn’t there before? You stupid, do you want me to make you understand that’s what love is? The love which blossom on you that day, gave me entry only today.
Is it your absence now which made me to feel this way? I don’t know. Really you would have thought about me more than what I am been thinking about myself all these years. Is it those thoughts force which made the difference on me? If so, why did it come so late? Poor things, what can it do? Love’s feelings are like flowers, so soft that it’s hard to break my inbuilt iron castles. That’s why it took so many days for me to fell in love. But poor, it would have pained a lot to them to break my castle.
Oh those thoughts, please forgive me, all these years I was been without any life or feelings. All these years I was not gifted enough to drink the taste of love. Please forgive me. As a remedy, now I give my love feelings, please accept it shyam.
I am coming to you shyam. It’s your duty to take enough care of myself. If I suffer without getting any words to express my love for you, don’t make me feel more uncomfortable, just embrace me, okay? I just starve to feel your breath on me now. Eh fool, how you have made me to blabber like this! Don’t think I’m angry on you! This we call sweet nothings, I know how much you would have battled for & lost for this sweet nothings.
I know how much you would have starved without seeing me all these years. But you should really thank this separation. Because of this separation I happen to come closer to you.
I know I was missing something all these years, but couldn’t really identify what it is. I was mad all these years in searching what I missed. Only yesterday I realized I gave myself to you well before and that’s what I am searching for.
I am thankful to you for loving me, for giving birth to this sweet feeling inside me, for making me talk like this. Wow, how great it’s to feel in love. It’s your work to make me feel like this always. Shyam, I am soon coming to you, take me to new episodes of love.
Eh Vidhya, what are you doing inside? Come here and help me on kitchen!
Nothing mom, I was just writing my personal Diary, just coming, wait a minute.
(to be contd.)