Dasavatharam - 10 Perfect Roles

What if a woman takes the role of Dasavatharam? Will she need too many centuries to don different roles? Or is this all a myth? Let’s get into the shoes of one of such woman and analyze for one day!

(Scene 1)

The Wife:

Ha-ha... You are really great sir? How come you could crack jokes non-stop.? it s very difficult to sip a tea without laughing sitting near you… really it’s a god gift sir..

No god gift venkat… all because of wife gift only…what latha am I right?

Ah nothing like that, infact his sense of humour has reduced ever since our marriage…

This is called modesty I say…

Sir really I have to confess if there happens to be a best couple competition within our office campus, it’s going to be you two who gonna win the best couple award...

Let me tell you, we won’t even get a consolation award …

Ha-ha… sir this is actually what modesty is?

Okay enough let’s move, so much of work, have to submit so many evidences to the auditor …

Why latha what’s the hurry, you must already be having those...

No venkat.. infact I have to create, modify & then only submit those evidences to tackle the auditor…ok yadav see you in the evening..

So we are leaving today by 4:00...ok!

I don’t know, I have...

What you don’t know, you are first mother then only you are employee of this company, first remember that..

Okay sir, you please carry on… bye latha…

Yeah venkat, you carry on, I’ll come in a minute… yadav I’ll try my level best to finish off my work soon... but

I’m leaving by 4 today, if you come I’ll take you otherwise you come by your own, if anaha asks where is mummy, I’ll tell her that she loves her job more than you, that’s all..

Ah, chinnu knows her mother very well more than her father…

If that’s the case then you manage her if she asks the reason for your absence in the evening

Yadav you know very well how important is this audit, I’ll surely try my level best to wrap it off at the earliest, give me a call in the evening

No way, if you are there at 4:00 PM near parking lot I’ll pick you, otherwise I’ll leave and tell anaha that mom wouldn’t make up today on time…

Not all are lucky like you to get good bosses; okay I’m getting late for the audits…you can leave if you want, I’ll manage by my own…

(Scene 2)

The Mother:

Oh god, I’ve got 6 missed calls from home and I didn’t even notice…. Let me call home and check, I’m already getting late for the audit.

Hello! Ah... Latha speaking, just noticed the missed calls, how is chinnu, did she had her breakfast?

She is crying since you left...

Oh why what happened? She was in good mood when we left for the office? Now what happened? Did you give her milk?

I don’t know, suddenly she has become very adamant, she wants to wear birthday dress now itself, all my efforts to convince her were in vain...

Okay give the phone to her, I’ll talk...

Like her mother she is also very stubborn and now crying... anaha, anaha… come... See your mother wants to talk to you… anaha… anaha… latha she is crying sitting in the balcony and not coming…

Ma, please call her soon, tell her that I have some surprise for her in the evening, she will come…

Chinnu, chinnu... Come your mother has some surprise for you, good girl nah… come come come… Ah, here she is, talk to her...

Hello chinnu…



Chinnu hello… hello!

……

Why chinnu is angry? Why she is not talking…?



Chinnu chinnu… what happened to my cutie…? Why are you angry with me chinnu?

I am angry with Nainama not you! (Nainama - Grandmother)

Why you are angry with nainama?

She is not allowing wearing my dress... I told her it is mine…. But still she is not allowing…bad nainama...

Chinnu you should not tell like that mah … she is very old know… how much she loves you...tell me who is giving you breakfast daily? Who is picking you from school daily? Nainama nah.. She will feel very bad if you talk like that... ask sorry to her…

Then why is she not allowing me to wear my dress?

No chinnu, the dress is the birthday dress know, you can wear it only in the evening...

Why evening, why can’t I wear now?

When does your mummy and father come home?

Ah evening...

Ah that’s why; you can wear it in the evening when we come okay! I will myself come home soon today, we will together have a bath, then I’ll give you new dress, new make up materials... new...

Choclate...

Ah new chocklate... all new for chinnu only... we will not give to anybody, okay

Ah okay… all new for me only...

Ok.. Mummy is getting late da.. Now tell sorry to nainama and have some food or milk... okay... Take rest... I’ll come home soon and then we will wear it...chinnu new dress... mummy new dress... okay...

Okay sorry nainama… I have said sorry to nainama…

Very good girl… now give a kiss to mummy and tell bye…

Umah ummah ummah… now you give ummah to chinnu...

Umah ummah ummah… bye da chinnu…

Bye…

(Scene 3)

The subordinate

Latha you still not gone to meet the auditors…

Yeah vani.. I’m going there only…

See it is already 11:00 AM, if at all you meet the auditors on time, then only audit can be completed as per schedule know...

Yeah, actually I had to talk to my daughter at home…. She was crying for some reason…

That’s okay, if at all you are talking with your daughter for some exigency issues, you could have asked soma or venkat to attend the auditors for the time being know..

No vani, I don’t think they would able to manage as we are already half way through... and it’s only me who is handling this right from the start... Don’t worry I’ll manage the auditors, I have already talked to them in the morning and updated the area that needs to be worked upon... so they wouldn’t actually be waiting for me..

Okay…go... if at all they need my inputs call me, I’ll be here only...

Ok, vani... I will...


(Scene 4)

The Supervisor

Madam… we still haven’t updated the file you have asked for…

Why you haven’t done that… I told you yesterday know this has to be completed by EOD…. Don’t you know the auditor will be asking for that file first thing in the morning...?

What to do madam, I had so many calls to attend?

I told you on the other day nah, no calls till the audit is over? Now if the auditors ask me for that file, what will I answer him?

But we have completed half madam... with that we can manage nah madam…

No no, he will not be happy with the incomplete file, he will make it a big issue… what you guys don’t follow my instructions at all!

Madam, please madam, will I get any problem if he raises any issues? This month my probation period is getting over madam, I’m afraid... this issue shouldn’t become a problem for me!

Eh, don’t worry, let me see how to tackle it, nothing will happen, you will get confirmed this month, I’ll send a mail to your boss later telling how good you were during the course of audit.. So don’t worry, but ensure that you complete this work today for sure...

But what if the auditors ask for this file today...

Don’t worry, I’ll manage… leave it to me.

(Scene 5)

The Manager

Sir here is the information you have asked for... infact I have made an excel sheet and updated all the relevant evidences and supporting documents locations which you would need in the course of audit... hope it helps sir..

Oh fantastic... latha...We have audited quite many firms, but I have to admit this is the first place where I am seeing everything in order... credit goes to you only...

No no sir… it’s all team effort only... I’m only a facilitator here.

No no, we don’t expect 100% conformance anywhere, we know we all are human beings, what we see is the area of improvement and the commitment being shown by the people working towards the compliance. Your approach & the way you manage things gives a very positive light on your organization as well… I’m sure you are an big asset to this company...

Thank you sir, but again the credit should go to the team and you for being understanding and courteous.

Okay, so what about the file that I asked you yesterday evening, is it ready?

Yes sir it is ready, but we would be able to show you only tomorrow?

Why it is not updated yet?

No sir, it is updated but actually we are having other security audits as well , so this file is actually being asked by the other auditor, so we will give this tomorrow morning, I hope you can understand..

Oh is that so! Ok, No problem latha, I’ll look at it tomorrow then…

(Scene 6)

The vulnerable

Oh my god it is already 2:00 PM, still the schedule for today is not even half way through… what will I do? Chinnu would have already started waiting for me at home? She would be thinking her mother would bring loads of gifts & chocolates for her? Today is her 4th year birthday and for the first time we wanted to celebrate it in a grand way. We have also invited lot many people from my side and yadav’s side. It would create a bad impression if I don’t reach in time. How will I manage? This auditor will not agree to complete the audit without completing his task today. Poor man he too might be in pressure to complete the whole audit within this week, otherwise he would get into problems.

What will I do? I made a mistake by coming today, I should have taken a leave giving some excuse? But who would have managed the audit then? It would have been highly difficult and also in first place I wouldn’t be granted a leave anyway.

Oh baba, please help me, give me a path to tackle this problem. Can I ask for permission to go early? Vani wouldn’t agree at all… he would then say, if at all you have to go early then complete today’s audit schedule or get permission from his boss. It is better I stay back rather going to ask the big boss for early permission. It wouldn’t look professional at all. Oh my god, I think I should resign my job and concentrate only on my family… I shouldn’t have continued my job at all after being a mother…. Now I’m suffering...


Latha... Sorry I had to attend some call... So shall we continue… latha…latha...?

Are you ok!

Ah... Sorry sir, yeah we can continue...

Any problem..?

No sir, please... We will continue...

(Scene 7)

The Wicked

Latha, can you order some tea or coffee please, it’s already 3:45 PM, meanwhile I’ll come back in a minute.. time for a break I guess…

Ah okay sir... I’ll arrange for it...

Oh god… it is already 3:45 PM now, what to do? I’ll call vani and say that I’m not feeling well and leave right away? What if he doesn’t accept my excuse? So what if he doesn’t accept. I am not going to give a damn about it, if he accepts its okay, otherwise I’ll ask him to manage this audit and go straightaway. I won’t mind what he will think and all. It’s enough... I can’t take it anymore... to hell with this audit, to hell with this job… I will quit if he doesn’t accept… I will ask him what soma or venkat is doing. Why can’t they handle this audit? Venkat seems to be proud nah thinking he is more experienced in this area, let him handle this one. He daily comes on time and leaves on time. Not even a single day he has cared to ask me about this audit. Even for courtesy he didn’t ask me if I need his help. So why should I bother for him. If he is been hired for his knowledge and experience, let him handle. I don’t care.

Soma can also help him as she is already been in this role for more than a year now. Moreover starting next week she would anyway be enjoying her long stint of holidays for her marriage. So it wouldn’t harm if she works little late today and finish it up. If she gives some excuse for leaving early…I am anyway going to tell her right away that it’s not possible...ah, shall I call yadav and ask him an advice. Uh, He does things for other people but when I ask him, he never bothers. He does not love me...huh...so what’s the use!


(Scene 8)

The Sacrificer

Latha, have you ordered coffee for us?

Oh sorry sir, not yet… I’ll arrange for it now.

Its okay, what happened, you seem to look little lost suddenly… any problem?

No, I’m just feeling little tired, please excuse me, I’ll wash my face and come…

Ah okay, carry on...

Oh god, what’s happening to me? God has given me good life, supporting husband, excellent colleagues... Why am I started suddenly complaining? Am I right in running out of my duties? Is it wise to transfer my duties onto others? Poor soma she would already have so many things to arrange for her marriage. Till date she has never comprised on her work for her personal things. If she wishes to go on time in the evening, what’s so wrong in it? Instead of helping her out, how can I think to drag her into this work; so that I can escape? Sorry soma, I’m very sorry. No I’m not going to become an escapist, no matter what happens, let me take the responsibility to finish of my duty…

(Scene 9)

The true Devotee

(Phone rings)

Hello latha, soma here, how is the audit going on? Do you need any help?

No... Soma, Audit is going on fine, no problem, so what is the plan for today evening?

Well there is some shopping to do with my fiancé...

Oh what madam, so much of shopping daily ah, take care of your body, don’t roam much outside in this polluted city, it is very important to take care of your body and face specially at this stage..

Haha.. Yeah I know...but what to do, so much of shopping still left...

Your countdown is already started madam, only 18 days more to go for marriage... remember that!

Ah okay, I actually called you ask if you need my help in your audit, I can stay back if you want...

No no you carry on, I can manage, Mr.patil sir would be waiting for you…

I can postpone the shopping tomorrow, that’s not the problem, I can talk to him as well, he will understand, in that way I am luck to get a good fiancé...

No soma, thanks, you please carry on, and everything is perfectly all right…

Ok, then bye, see you tomorrow…

Bye…

(sms pings)

Latha please let me know if you need any help from me - Venkat

Thanks venkat, I can manage, you please carry on – Latha

Oh how suddenly I am being offered help from so many angles… but it’s no point in accepting their help, as it may make the matter worse... anyway…

So can we continue with the audit latha? You are okay now?

Oh, yeah...I’m completely fine sir, we can continue...

Are you sure? Let me know if you have any problems, we can see for some alternatives.

No, no sir, thanks for your concern, we can continue…. If at all there is any problem, I leave it to baba, he will take care of them…

Baba who?

Sai baba, I’m actually a devotee of Him.

Oh god, just now I remember, what’s the time now latha?

Ah, it’s 4:30….

Do you mind, if we wind up the audit now and continue with it tomorrow?

Why, why what happened sir?

Actually today is Thursday know, I have promised my parents to take them to sai baba’s temple near by,...thanks for reminding me… we will see all this tomorrow, ok bye.. I have to rush now...



Latha, I said bye...

Oh sorry sorry sir, bye...bye... see you tomorrow.

('Sri Sacchidananda Sadguru Sainath Maharaj ki jai')

(Scene 10)

The Lover

Oh is this what we call a miracle? How I wished to leave early today and it was just not happening at all and suddenly, wow… well… it’s already 4:30, I am sure yadav must have been half way through, I have to quickly catch some auto, let me rush…

Hello madam, why are you running so fast?

Oh yadav, you are still here, I thought you would have left by now… I actually...

No problem madam, shall we go now, or you still have some work to do?

No, it’s over we can leave, but how, I thought you must have left by now?

Madam, if I told you in the morning that you are mother first and then an employee, it’s applicable to me as well, I am first your husband, then a father then an employee here…

But…

How can you think that I would have left you and gone there? Remember I will never let down my wife… got it?

But we are already late; we have to do some shopping for anaha...

Don’t worry madam, everything has been taken care of, I have got all that our daughter would have wished for during lunch time... now all you need to do is give me the privilege to take you home in my car… shall we madam..

Oh yadav… I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, I, I… I just…lov

Okay, okay, I know what you are going to say, let’s have all our romantic talks inside the car, let’s move now; anaha will be waiting for us…


Post marriage woman has to perform multiple duty as a mother, daughter-in-law, employee etc. To perform this role effectively, she has to don multiple roles every single day; it might even be more than 10 perfect roles than what latha performed here; so with utmost sincerity let’s all salute to the spirit of womanhood.



"I think the key is for women not to set any limits." - Martina Navratilova

Bhavayami Gopala balam...


It doesn't require one to be an ardent carnatic fan to appreciate the real beauty of this song. Till now until I publish this post, I am also not aware of the lyrics either. However who can forget the meticulous composition of this song (by Shri Kadayanallur Venkataraman) or the stunning rendition of this song by our great M.S.S.

If you like to fall in peace, if you want to fall in trance or if you probably like to have a glimpse of Meditation state, please listen to this song rendered by MSS. While I was hearing this song lately, I was reminded by a song sequence short for the film Jodhaa Akbar. In one of the song sequence, Akbar (played by Hrithik) dances in a trance state during the qawwalli 'Khwaja mere khwaja. I feel it is brilliantly picturised and for a second it actually sent a jolt on my senses too. It again reiterates the fact how divine songs can give you the spiritual experiences. This also relates to Bhakti Yoga, if I’m not wrong.

So coming back to the song by MSS, I wanted to have a look at the lyrics of this song in English and also its related meaning of the song. Thanks to some rare souls, I could get it.

Lyrics:

BAvayAmi gOpAlabAlaM mana- | ssEvitaM tatpadaM ciMtayEhaM sadA ||
| kaTi GaTita mEkhalA khacita maNi GaMTikA- | paTala ninadEna viBrAjamAnaM |
kuTila pada GaTita saMkula SiMjitAnataM | caTula naTanA samujjvala vilAsaM ||
| niratakara kalitanavanItaM brahmAdi- | sura nikara BAvanA SOBita padaM |
tiruvEMkaTAcala sthita manupamaM hariM | parama puruShaM gOpAlabAlaM ||

(source: http://www.sistla.org)

Meaning:

I meditate upon the Baby Gopala, Who is served by my mind. I always meditate on those feet.||1||

I meditate upon the Baby Gopala, Who is glittering forth due to immense rhyming sound coming from jewel and bell studded waist girdle, and Who is shining forth trembling dances adorned by the sound of feet running in curved trajectories.||2||

I meditate upon the Baby Gopala, Who is engrossed in the beautiful new butter-ball in His hand, Whose feet are adorned by the various devoted emotions of Brahma and demi-gods, Who is situated at the mountain of Tirupati¹ as Venkat, Who is without a comparison, Who is Hari, and Who is the best person.||3||

(source: http://www.stutimandal.com/gif_misc/bhavayami_gopalabalam.htm)

You can here the song here (http://www.sawf.org/audio/kalyani/mss.ram) .

Fortunate are those who are peacemakers, also fortunate are those who are actually benefited by it.

Security Checklist

Are you part of IT security team? Are you part of Security Audit Team? Then time and time again you would have desired to have a common checklist to audit various IT applications / network systems. But not all Security auditors are techie. No problem below website gives you a comprehensive audit checklist for various application systems / servers / routers / firewalls etc.

The National Checklist Program (NCP) is the U.S. government repository of publicly available security checklists (or benchmarks) that provide detailed low level guidance on setting the security configuration of operating systems and applications. NCP contains 161 checklists covering 153 products

So next time when you audit IT systems, don't forget to go through these security checklist for better understanding. Link below (Enjoy!)

http://nvd.nist.gov/ncp.cfm?prod_category

This site also contains info on Vulnerabilities, US-CERT Alerts & other security related stuffs. Navigate to their home page http://nvd.nist.gov/home.cfm and try other options available.

Character or Consciousness?

How to develop a strong enough character that I don’t get disturbed by anything and don’t lose my cool?

Osho: Go to the sea, and watch the sea. Millions of waves are there, but deep in its depth the sea remains calm and quiet, deep in meditation. The turmoil is just on the surface, just on the surface where the sea meets the outside world, the winds. Otherwise, in itself, it always remains the same, not even a ripple; nothing changes.

It is the same with you. Just on the surface where you meet others there is turmoil, anxiety, anger, attachment, greed, lust...just on the surface where winds come and touch you. And if you remain on the surface you cannot change this changing phenomenon; it will remain there.

Many people try to change it there, on the circumference. They fight with it, they try not to let a wave arise. And through their fight even more waves arise, because when the sea fights with the wind there will be more turmoil: now not only will the wind help it, the sea will also help — there will be tremendous chaos on the surface.

All the moralists try to change man on the periphery. Your character is the periphery: you don’t bring any character into the world, you come absolutely characterless, a blank sheet, and all that you call your character is written by others. Your parents, society, teachers, teachings — all are conditionings. You come as a blank sheet, and whatsoever is written on you comes from others; so unless you become a blank sheet again you will not know what nature is, you will not know what Brahma is, you will not know what Tao is.

So the problem is not how to have a strong character, the problem is not how to attain no-anger, how not to be disturbed — no, that is not the problem. The problem is how to change your consciousness from the periphery to the center. Then suddenly you see that you have always been calm. Then you can look at the periphery from a distance, and the distance is so vast, infinite, that you can watch as if it is not happening to you. In fact, it never happens to you. Even when you are completely lost in it, it never happens to you: something in you remains undisturbed, something in you remains beyond, something in you remains a witness.

So the whole problem for the seeker is how to shift his attention from the periphery to the center; how to be merged with that which is unchanging, and not to be identified with that which is just a boundary. On the boundary others are very influential, because on the boundary change is natural. The periphery will go on changing — even a buddha’s periphery changes.

The difference between a buddha and you is not a difference of character — remember this; it is not a difference of morality, it is not a difference in virtue or nonvirtue, it is a difference in where you are grounded.

You are grounded on the periphery; a buddha is grounded in the center. He can look at his own periphery from a distance; when you hit him he can see it as if you have hit somebody else, because the center is so distant. It’s as if he is a watcher on the hills and something is happening in the valleys and he can see it. This is the first thing to be understood.

The second thing: it is very easy to control, it is very difficult to transform. It is very easy to control. You can control your anger, but what will you do? — you will suppress it. And what happens when you suppress a certain thing? The direction of its movement changes: it was going out, and if you suppress it, it starts going in — just its direction changes.

And for anger to go out was good, because the poison needs to be thrown out. It is bad for the anger to move within, because that means your whole body mind structure will be poisoned by it. And then if you go on doing this for a long time...as everybody has been doing, because the society teaches control, not transformation.

The society says, ‘Control yourself,’ and through controlling, all the negative things have been thrown deeper and deeper into the unconscious, and then they become a constant thing within you. Then it is not a question of your being angry sometimes and sometimes not — you are simply angry. Sometimes you explode, and sometimes you don’t explode because there is no excuse, or you have to find an excuse. And remember, you can find an excuse anywhere!

You are angry. Because you have suppressed so much anger, now there are no moments when you are not angry; at the most, sometimes you are less angry, sometimes more. Your whole being is poisoned by suppression. You eat with anger — and it has a different quality when a person eats without anger: it is beautiful to watch him, because he eats nonviolently. He may be eating meat, but he eats nonviolently; you may be eating just vegetables and fruits, but if anger is suppressed, you eat violently.

...Then this will move in every way, in every arena of your life: you will make love, but it will be more like violence than like love, it will have much aggression in it. Because you never observe one another making love, you don’t know what is happening, and you cannot know what is happening to you because you are almost always so much in aggression.

That’s why deep orgasm through love becomes impossible — because you are afraid deep down that if you move totally without control, you may kill your wife or kill your beloved, or the wife may kill the husband or the lover. You become so afraid of your own anger! Next time you make love, watch: you will be doing the same movements as are done when you are aggressive. Watch the face, have a mirror around so you can see what is happening to your face! All the distortions of anger and aggression will be there.

...Through suppression, mind becomes split. The part that you accept becomes the conscious, and the part that you deny becomes the unconscious. This division is not natural, the division happens because of repression. And into the unconscious you go on throwing all the rubbish that society rejects — but remember, whatsoever you throw in there becomes more and more part of you: it goes into your hands, into your bones, into your blood, into your heartbeat. Now psychologists say that almost eighty percent of diseases are caused by repressed emotions: so many heart failures means so much anger has been repressed in the heart, so much hatred that the heart is poisoned.

Why? Why does man suppress so much and become unhealthy? Because the society teaches you to control, not to transform, and the way of transformation is totally different. For one thing, it is not the way of control at all, it is just the opposite.

The first thing: in controlling you repress, in transformation you express. But there is no need to express on somebody else because the ‘somebody else’ is just irrelevant. Next time you feel angry go and run around the house seven times, and after it sit under a tree and watch where the anger has gone. You have not repressed it, you have not controlled it, you have not thrown it on somebody else — because if you throw it on somebody else a chain is created, because the other is as foolish as you, as unconscious as you. If you throw it on another, and if the other is an enlightened person, there will be no trouble; he will help you to throw and release it and go through a catharsis. But the other is as ignorant as you — if you throw anger on him he will react. He will throw more anger on you, he is repressed as much as you are. Then there comes a chain: you throw on him, he throws on you, and you both become enemies.

Don’t throw it on anybody. It is the same as when you feel like vomiting: you don’t go and vomit on somebody. Anger needs a vomit. You go to the bathroom and vomit! It cleanses the whole body — if you suppress the vomit it will be dangerous, and when you have vomited you will feel fresh, you will feel unburdened, unloaded, good, healthy. Something was wrong in the food that you took and the body rejects it. Don’t go on forcing it inside.

Anger is just a mental vomit. Something is wrong that you have taken in and your whole psychic being wants to throw it out, but there is no need to throw it out on somebody. Because people throw it on others, society tells them to control it.

There is no need to throw anger on anybody. You can go to your bathroom, you can go on a long walk; it means that something is inside that needs fast activity so that it is released. Just do a little jogging and you will feel it is released, or take a pillow and beat the pillow, fight with the pillow, and bite the pillow until your hands and teeth are relaxed. Within a five-minute catharsis you will feel unburdened, and once you know this you will never throw it on anybody, because that is absolutely foolish.

The first thing in transformation, then, is to express anger, but not on anybody, because if you express it on somebody you cannot express it totally. You may like to kill, but it is not possible; you may like to bite, but it is not possible. But that can be done to a pillow. A pillow means ‘already enlightened’; the pillow is enlightened, a buddha. The pillow will not react, and the pillow will not go to any court, and the pillow will not bring any enmity against you, and the pillow will not do anything. The pillow will be happy and the pillow will laugh at you!

The second thing to remember: be aware.

In controlling, no awareness is needed; you simply do it mechanically, like a robot. The anger comes and there is a mechanism; suddenly your whole being becomes narrow and closed. If you are watchful control may not be so easy.

Society never teaches you to be watchful, because when somebody is watchful, he is wide open. That is part of awareness. One is open, and if you want to suppress something and you are open, it is contradictory, it may come out. The society teaches you how to close yourself in, how to cave yourself in...don’t allow even a small window for anything to go out.

But remember: when nothing goes out, nothing comes in either. When the anger cannot go out, you are closed. If you touch a beautiful rock, nothing goes in; you look at a flower, nothing goes in: your eyes are dead and closed. You kiss a person; nothing goes in, because you are closed. You live an insensitive life.

Sensitivity grows with awareness. Through control you become dull and dead. That is part of the mechanism of control: if you are dull and dead then nothing will affect you, as if the body has become a citadel, a defense. Nothing will affect you, neither insult nor love.

But this control is at a very great cost, an unnecessary cost; then it becomes the whole effort in life: how to control yourself — and then die! The whole effort of control takes all your energy, and then you simply die. And the life becomes a dull and dead thing; you somehow carry it on.

The society teaches you control and condemnation, because a child will control only when he feels something is condemned. Anger is bad; sex is bad; everything that has to be controlled has to be made to look like a sin to the child, to look like evil.

A deep condemnation enters about all that is alive. And sex is the most alive thing — has to be! It is the source. Anger is also a most alive thing, because it is a protective force. If a child cannot be angry at all, he will not be able to survive. You have to be angry in certain moments. The child has to show his own being, the child has to stand in certain moments upon his own ground; otherwise he will have no backbone.

Anger is beautiful; sex is beautiful. But beautiful things can go ugly. That depends on you. If you condemn them, they become ugly; if you transform them, they become divine. Anger transformed becomes compassion...because the energy is the same. A buddha is compassionate: from where does his compassion come? This is the same energy that was moving in anger; now it is not moving in anger, the same energy is transformed into compassion. From where does love come? A Buddha is loving; a Jesus is love. The same energy that moves into sex becomes love.

So remember, if you condemn a natural phenomenon it becomes poisonous, it destroys you, it becomes destructive and suicidal. If you transform it, it becomes divine, it becomes a God-force, it becomes an elixir; you attain through it to immortality, to a deathless being. But transformation is needed.

In transformation you never control, you simply become more aware. Anger is happening: you have to be aware that anger is happening — watch it! It is a beautiful phenomenon...energy moving within you, becoming hot!

It is just like electricity in the clouds. People were always afraid of electricity; they thought in olden days, when they were ignorant, that this electricity was the god being angry, being threatening, trying to punish — creating fear so that people would become worshippers, so that people would feel that the god was there and he would punish them.

But now we have domesticated that god. Now that god runs through your fan, through your air conditioner, through the fridge: whatsoever you need, that god serves. That god has become a domestic force, it is no longer angry and no longer threatening. Through science an outer force has been transformed into a friend.

The same happens through religion for inner forces.

Anger is just like electricity in your body: you don’t know what to do with it. Either you kill somebody else or you kill yourself. The society says if you kill yourself it is okay, it is your concern, but don’t kill anybody else — and as far as society goes that is okay. So either you become aggressive or you become repressive.

Religion says both are wrong. The basic thing that is needed is to become aware and to know the secret of this energy, anger, this inner electricity. It is electricity because you become hot; when you are angry your temperature goes hot, and you cannot understand the coolness of a buddha, because when anger is transformed into compassion everything is cool. A deep coolness happens. Buddha is never hot; he is always cool, centered, because he now knows how to use the inner electricity. Electricity is hot; it becomes the source of air conditioning. Anger is hot — it becomes the source of compassion.

Compassion is an inner air conditioning. Suddenly everything is cool and beautiful, and nothing can disturb you, and the whole existence is transformed into a friend. Now there are no more enemies...because when you look through the eyes of anger, somebody becomes an enemy; when you look through the eyes of compassion, everybody is a friend, a neighbor. When you love, everywhere is God; when you hate, everywhere is the devil. It is your standpoint that is projected onto reality.

Awareness is needed, not condemnation — and through awareness transformation happens spontaneously. If you become aware of your anger, understanding penetrates. Just watching, with no judgment, not saying good, not saying bad, just watching in your inner sky. There is lightning, anger, you feel hot, the whole nervous system shaking and quaking, and you feel a tremor all over the body — a beautiful moment, because when energy functions you can watch it easily; when it is not functioning you cannot watch.

Close your eyes and meditate on it. Don’t fight, just look at what is happening — the whole sky filled with electricity, so much lightning, so much beauty — just lie down on the ground and look at the sky and watch. Then do the same inside.

Clouds are there, because without clouds there can be no lightning — dark clouds are there, thoughts. Somebody has insulted you, somebody has laughed at you, somebody has said this or that...many clouds, dark clouds in the inner sky and much lightning. Watch! It is a beautiful scene, terrible also, because you don’t understand. It is mysterious, and if mystery is not understood it becomes terrible, you are afraid of it. And whenever a mystery is understood, it becomes a grace, a gift, because now you have the keys — and with keys you are the master.

Source: Osho.com (Osho: And the Flowers Showered)