Madras
04.03.1970
Dear Indira
I never thought in my life that there would be a moment where only through letters I can be able to reach you. I still can't believe that you are gone far away from me. Does that mean we would no longer be able to have that long walk back to our home from our schools? The paddy field would no longer see us together? The security would not have another chance to shout against us for secretly stealing the mangoes from his owner’s garden? Our parents will not get a chance to scold us for wandering together for so long in the late evenings. I still never thought there would be a moment like this…
It is very strange to write like this here, because I am never used to it. I would have talked non-stop if you are in front of me on how badly I’m missing every time I see the lonely road back to my home from school. But here it is different. Words don’t come easily. Probably because, I’m not used to write.
So how are you Indira? How is your new city Delhi? I heard from my father that it is a very big city and extremely hard to adjust for people like us. Is that so? I hope you would have joined the new school by now. Have you got new friends? Are they so good than me? If so, will you start forgetting me slowly? Please don’t. I can’t stop my tears falling down Indira. I can’t imagine any other friend than you. Please do update me all about your life out there.
Indira, I am not going to talk to your father again. Why did he had to accept the transfer from Madras to Delhi. Why did he smiled at me, when I asked him to leave you here in my house? The days are so long here without you. Suddenly I feel, the world is very cruel to me. I feel now I have lot to say, but the space is a constraint here. So I‘m keeping it short.
My father told me that it would take more than 10 days for you to get this letter. Could you please reply back immediately? I can’t wait to see your reply and your feelings for me . My mother is against me going to schools. She wants me to help her in kitchen and says girls don’t need academic education and all they need is house hold training. Though my father is in my side, I know he can’t stand against my mother for long. I want to study further Indira, Remember, we both planned to study together till B.A. I feel all my dreams are mere… Sorry Indira, I can’t write further…
Missing you my dear Indira..
Yours
Saradha
Madras
04.03.1977
Dear Indira,
I can’t believe it’s been seven years since I started writing you. Years are passing by so fast. I am very glad that we could still keep our friendship and don’t feel bored writing each other. Every time I see the postman reaching our street, you can't imagine my eyes just widen up like an Owl. Oh god, I don’t think I have expressed it correctly, but never mind, you can understand what I mean to say, right? That’s why friends are there for, you never have to try hard to explain things, isn’t it Indira ?
Okay, you may be wondering, why I took so much time in writing this letter to you. Well, would you believe I actually wrote another letter to you few days back, but just before posting, I tore that into pieces? Don’t come to a conclusion so soon that I no longer love to write that letter to you. There are only two things in my life that I enjoy most. You are not my friend if you don’t know writing letter to you is one among them. Other one is what I wanted to hide from you in my previous letter and that’s why I tore that letter because I started hating myself for hiding that information from you. How cruel I’m that I wrote that letter without telling you the most wonderful thing that has happened to me in my life?
Indira, do you know, suddenly this world has become so loving to me. I feel birds are singing new poems every day morning only for me. Each poem is so meaningful that only I can understand. There is no hatred in this world Indira, it is only our assumption. Never in my life I started experiencing this feeling and how can I tell you how wonderful to have such a feeling. When I used to read about it in books and novels, I used to laugh at the madness. I can’t believe that now I’m one of among that madness.
Indira, by now you must have understood what I’m trying to say but difficult to write here. Indira, I am love. Oh God, I just had Goosebumps even to write this word LOVE. I never thought I would fall for a guy, but I did. I did Indira and I feel that is the greatest achievement I have done in my life so far apart from getting you as my friend.
You must be probably thinking I have gone mad. But Indira, if you thought so, you are right. I have gone mad in love. I can’t imagine my life without him. But life is not so beautiful Indira. I always used to think, why love always has to come along with a problem. I thought only in stories and novels, problem exist. How fool I’m. My love is not without problems. Probably you would understand my problem, if I tell you the name of the person who melted my heart. He is "Mr.Saleem."
Missing you as ever,
Saradha
Madras
04.03.1980
Dear Indira,
You know I make it a point to write on this day for sure, because I feel we both born again as friends on this day. However, I regret to keep this letter too short.
My continuous persuasion to make my parents accept Saleem has miserably failed. How much I had wished for you to be here, probably you could have helped in persuading my parents to accept my love. But life wants me to struggle always as I started experiencing it from the day you left me alone in Madras.
My mother has stopped talking to me for more than a month. She always curses my father for making me study further. She believes I would have not done like this If I had stopped studying and started helping her in kitchen. I feel very sorry for my father. But he is too adamant. I can understand for the way he was brought up. But I can’t help it Indira, I can’t imagine any other person in my life other than Saleem. I can sense my parents are very vigorous in searching an alliance for me at the earliest.I don't know what to do ?
I see two options to get rid of it. The door that I can see from the table I am writing this letter to you, which would help me to elope with Saleem tonight. Or the poison my father has bought for the paddy fields. Indira, do you know, I have no guts for either of this. But I need to decide, and decide quickly to choose one of them today.
I once again remember the days we spent time together. Those are lovely days Indira, I am really lucky person to have you in my life as a good friend. Will I be second time lucky to have Saleem too ? Please pray for me...
If god Wishes, will meet you again in my next letter… if you don’t see any more letter from me, please name your kid in my name.
Yours
Saradha.
Madras
04.03.1985
Dear Indira,
I’m glad know that you are blessed with a baby girl. If only my legs has that power to cross the border, I would not be writing this letter as I would be right there holding your little angel. Life is full of surprises Indira. Only when you think that you are longing for breath and getting suffocated from being fallen inside a ditch trap, god throw a rope to hold on. This had happened many times in my life. This happened today morning too.
Yes Indira, I met my father today. He finally came to see my son. I am not much worried to see him avoiding my husband as I’m sure my son would not allow him to do so for long. He has become soft Indira. Probably the age factor and loneliness from the death of my mother. I still can’t forgive his stubbornness for avoiding us during her funeral. But I deserve it for breaking their heart. It’s a sin that I could never fulfill my mother’s dreams but I sincerely hope she would have probably died blessing my son though not pardoning me.
I pleaded my father to stay with us but he is still adamant. His pride is still young though not his body. But I’m happy atleast that he started spending his time with my son once in a week.
I am sending you my son picture along with this letter. You can know from the picture why I’m still not happy with life.
Yours friendly
Saradha
Madras
04.03.1995
Dear Indira,
I don’t have much to write except for letting you know that this is 25th Anniversary for us. I’m not talking about our marriage anniversary Idiot. This is our 25th Anniversary from the time we started writing letters to each other. So let's our feeling's fill our hearts instead of words this time.
Just before writing this letter, I was reading your first letter to me sent in 1970. So many lovely feelings, so many lovely flashbacks, so many lovely memory we both have. Still it is hard for the next generation to believe that we actually did this for so long. We can’t complain them much for not understanding us as they have grown up in different era.
You know what Indira, my hands are no longer able to write long letters. I frequently get pains in both my hands. I am writing this letter inspite of the pains as I have requested them not to trouble me much while I write this letter to you. Yesterday only I was discharged from the hospital after one month. They have given me a big timetable for taking so many medicines. Frankly, I don’t really like to live longer. What’s the use in living, when the moment you know that you have started to be a burden to others?
I only have one wish Indira. I wanted to see you before I die. I don’t get the same satisfaction as when I talk to you over phone. I feel very bad to make you do long distance calls to hear this old lady voice. Even before we say hello to each other, I am sure you would be checking your money purse once. Eh I am just kidding, I know how much you love me, but I don’t want you to spend more on telephone calls. I am happy and satisfied in communicating with you through letters.
Indira, my hands are really started paining now, it’s not hearing my request. Sorry, if I’ve to stop this letter now. I really wish our next generation be in touch like us. I feel dizzy & feel sleepy… Is it because of the medicines or is it an eternal rest? Let me take some rest & check it out. Take care
Yours ever loving friend
Saradha
Subject: Thank you
Dated: 04.03.2000
Dear Saradha
I feel gr8 2 write this mail 2 u.
Thank u 4 coming 4 my mother’s 5th year Death Anniversary. It would have been a good parting gift 2 her, if you could have landed here with your mother when she was alive. However I m sure she would be extremely glad 2 see ur mother Indira after so long frm heaven.
It’s so kind for ur mother 2 bring all the letters my mother had sent 2 her over the years. Oh god, we just lost counting them together. The sleepless nights v all had reading the letters along with ur mother was one of the golden moments n my life. Truly, they have been a wonderful souls in this world. I only wish I could be a worthy successor.
I am still not sure, when ur mother shared her wish 2 see me as his son-in-law. Even though she said that she was asking with ur acceptance, I am still not sure because, Who in the world can accept a crippled man as her husband. I am still paying for the price 4 the poison my mother had when I was inside her womb. I probably would have consumed it 2 save my mother as Lord Shiva did 2 save the Mother World.
I was extremely filled with emotions when I saw that she had written a letter 2 your mother, even before doing so. If only, she had chosen the other option of eloping, I would have spared with another leg in working condition. What a friendship? There are still something in this world which time & distance can’t separate. Anyways, I’m happy that the poison did work in her faovur as my grandparents decided 2 get my mother married with my father, after saving her from death.
Saradha, I never feel now missing my mother, as I see her living in through her letters to your mom. It’s not strange 2 see that you have been named in my mother’s name and I have been named in your mom’s name. My sole purpose of writing this mail is to thank you and your mom for taking all pains in coming to India and sharing wonderful days with me.
I also came to know from my mother’s letter that she did wanted the communication to go on for ever even after her death which I’m doing so as a dutiful son. However I would also be happy to communicate with you in person than through letters sorry mails like our mothers did.
So let me know if you are really interested 2 be my life partner. If yes, I would be glad that I kept my mother’s promise. If no, I still like to ask you, "Will you be my friend" ?
Awaiting your favourable reply
Regards
Indira Parthasarathy.
Son of Saradha Saleem.